Love Bombing: You are only loved to the degree you agree.

Love Bombing: many of you have experienced it. But what exactly is it? And why is it so prevalent within cults and cultic atmospheres?

Read blog here on Saved in a Cult

It can be difficult to tell the difference between a person who is naturally kind and affectionate (or even over-the-top), and the person who is using such displays to manipulate.

Love bombing often involves “an abrupt shift in the type of attention, from affectionate and loving to controlling and angry, with the pursuing partner making unreasonable demands.

The controllers are quick to show warmth and affection, but then lose their temper or find other ways to “punish” you when they don’t get their way.”

Article cited

These ‘punishments’ can include but not limited too:

  • Withholding affection
  • Removal of privaleges
  • Removal of duties or responsibilities
  • Sowing discord (Proverbs 6:16-19) to cause other members in the group to align with them
  • Shunning from participating in group activities
  • Leaders being evasive not answering questions or outright being condescending
  • Being cast out of the physical building
  • Not being allowed to speak to leadership or be heard
  • Being removed from online groups without any biblical steps of correction
  • Being blocked by leaders on social media
  • The leaders or facilitators fabricating stories and lie to defend their actions
  • Spreading false information about the shunned person through a group as to keep the members they have and manipulate them to not talk to the shunned member as leaders tactics may be exposed
  • And much much more- some more subtle others more overt

I was recently in a group and it was a small online group. One that I was very appreciative to be a part of and the members and admins were kind and gracious. They seemed genuine. That was until I called into question a particular teacher whom I found (at least) two videos with a very different Gospel message than the one the group espoused to believe in. The true Gospel is what they told me they believed. I also had growing concerns this teacher was stealthily sneaking in another heresy.

When I started to ask questions about this teacher their tone toward me changed. It went from a form of love bombing to sarcasm, mockery, provocation, control, and out right lies. This recent incident is just one of many I have experienced. These experiences only serve be a blessing to exercise grace and forgiveness when treated certain ways. I started to take screenshots when I realized my comments were being deleted pleading with the “leaders of the group” to stop acting in the manner they were and to please talk about this issue.

These are just a few of the many screenshots. It’s sad folks. But there is a point to learn as well which is we all continue to sin every single day. No matter how hard we ‘try’ we all sin daily in word, thought, deed, and omission. Really if you even got gas today or a drive through coffee and didn’t share the gospel as we are commanded too, you sinned.

I sin daily. I thank GOD that Jesus died for all my sins and no (you legalists) not so I can go waste my life like the prodigal son and have a ‘license to sin.’ I’m grateful because I can DO NOTHING to “help myself” to heaven that is what Jesus accomplished. I will keep the group and people anonymous at this time and I ask the reader (s) to please pray for them. That the Lord would give them wisdom and they would have a change of mind about the matter and ask the Lord (not man) for help in how to be healthy mature facilitators and be spiritually grown overseers of the people they have under their care. For I fear, should antics like this continue, a weaker believer could be caused to stumble or worse.

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