While we all have a different journey (and story) to the Lord there is only one way to be reconciled back to God. My outward condition was open for all to see clearly that I needed help and my inward condition was equally corrupt I was decaying from the inside out. I was reaching the end of myself and I would end up on my knees crying out to this Jesus I had heard of so many times.
I knew I just couldn’t keep working my way through life anymore. I was exhausted, hungry, and lost. This time, the exhaustion, hunger, and wandering wasn’t physical. I had tried everything I knew to “get better” and nothing worked. This time, I called out to Him for real, meaning it and desiring Him to save me from this life I had lived. Knowing that He alone a gift of grace from God, received by faith and faith alone to be justified by Jesus Christ and be reconciled back to my Creator, my Heavenly Father, a gift none of us deserve. I would eventually come to respond to Jesus Christ but my journey to Him was still a long road to travel. It wasn’t God who was distant from me; I kept my distance from Him. He is not hard to find. He is a very present help in times of trouble. I just thought I could figure this all out on my own.
We think we can try hard enough, and have enough “fortitude” and “push through” in our own strength. I would come to know and understand, apart from Him, I can do nothing. Apart from Him I would continue to find myself in valleys and going around mountains of destruction over and over again. Everything man and the world had to offer had failed to “change” me. All the psychology, psychiatrists, mental tests, and human science modalities had proven over and over again to bear no fruitfulness in my life. If there had been any change it was very temporary never able to sustain real transformation. To date, these same modalities would not be what finally did bring about a true everlasting change.
To realize that I can do nothing to earn, keep, or work for salvation is both a relief and humbling at the same time. To recognize that I was (we all are) born spiritually dead and in sin and the only way to God is to be spiritually reborn (John 3:3). Jesus says “I am the way, the truth, and the life, no man comes to the Father except through Me.” John 14:6
Many people struggle through religion, rituals, tradition, self-atonement, works of the Law, and none of those things will reconcile a person back to God. Jesus Christ had many things to say regarding the “Law keepers” of His day. Jesus says “Woe to you scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead peoples bones and all uncleanliness.” I knew I needed help the only help that can truly change a person is found in Jesus Christ alone and his finished work on the cross. Sadly, many people and religion have a form of holiness, morality, and altruism, but none of it has the power to save a soul.